Another Way to Say I Love You
by Anna Ride
Summary: What if St. Clair hadn't seen Anna that day and confessed his love? What if he, and she, chickened out completely? How would fate bring them back together? Well, DUH. Rated T for...Tigger. ONE SHOT. SONG FIC.


**YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T OWN!**

**I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK AND SO I WROTE THIS TO CLEAR IT.**

**I should be updating a lot now. :)**

**THANK ANNA AND ST. CLAIR!**

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_Another Way to Say I Love You_

I, slowly, zipped my final suitcase shut, picking it up and placing it next to my carry on and other bag. My throat tightened and my heart clenched as I looked around the tiny room. Smiling softly, I picked the towel out from under the window and the familiar breeze washed over me, the opera woman's singing becoming louder and clearer.

Sighing and wiping a tear from my eyes, I remembered my first night, crying on my bed, Mer helping me, meeting St. Clair. Biting my lip, I started crying silently, pressing the back of my hand to my mouth. _Oh, St. Clair. He'll never know. _I thought, sobbing. _Did he ever even truly love me at all?_

A tiny tap sounded on the door, and I whipped around, rubbing at my eyes, my first thought being his name. But it was Mer and Rashmi instead, and I smiled bitter-sweetly at the extra hot chocolate mug in Mer's hand. I took it gratefully, as Rashmi handed me a tissue. Wiping the tears away, I took a shuddering breath as we all sat the floor after Mer shut the door.

"Why don't you just tell him?" Rashmi asked me, her eyes concerned and intense. I looked at my hands as Mer played with her rings, biting her lip. She was cool with me loving St. Clair, and had moved on to the Italian guys she'd most likely meet in Rome, where she was going to college.

She, too, was just worried about what a mess I was.

"Because," I whispered, fingers tapping my mug. "He must not feel the same way, if he has no girlfriend and still will not say it. I don't want to be rejected again." Mer bit her lip, looking away, as I murmured the last sentence. I hugged her a little, and she hugged back, and the memory of the kiss was forgotten again – for a moment, at least.

Rashmi snorted, sipping her hot chocolate and rolling her eyes. "The guy is in love with you, Anna, and you're just being paranoid and avoiding your feelings. He's leaving for Berkeley tomorrow, there's not much time left for you to tell him," she reminded me, and I sighed.

"I know, Rashmi, it's just…I feel like…we've messed up so many times in our…_whatever this is_…that it's not…fixable," I explained slowly. Their skeptical looks told me that it sounded as lame an excuse to them as it had to me.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and Josh stood there with St. Clair, holding a beer and wearing a grin. "C'mon, girls, it's time to celebrate that _I_ am _staying_ in Paris, and _you all_ are not," he teased, even though we all knew he didn't want us to leave.

Rolling our eyes, we stood, and Mer collected our cups, putting them in her room. Chatting happily, the three of them walked down the hall and through the doors to the stairwell, leaving St. Clair and I standing there, alone, just staring. Then, I cleared my throat and looked down, passing him as he stood in the doorway.

He caught my arm, sending sparks shooting through it, and then the rest of my body, and I turned around, a stupid hope glimmering inside of me. "Yes?" I asked, and I nearly slapped myself at the sound of my breathy, lovestruck tone. But, as he stared into my eyes, he didn't seem to notice.

"Anna," my heart flopped at how he pronounced my name. _Ah-na, _"I need to tell you something." I nodded, stepping closer subconsciously, our noses touching. My heart was thumping hard in my chest, and I was having trouble breathing.

"_Yes?_" I asked again, my voice hushed as I looked into his eyes, biting my lip. He pushed my streak behind my ear, and his fingertips brushing my skin made my breathing hitch. "What is it, St. Clair?" At the sound of his last name, he pulled away, eyes pained.

"I hope you have a nice holiday," he muttered, not meting my eyes anymore and walking out after the others. I fought the urge to run after him and whip him around and kiss the living daylights out of him and scream, 'I LOVE YOU, ÉTIENNE ST. CLAIR!'

…Actually, that didn't sound like a bad idea.

Snapping out of my trance, I opened my mouth to call out his name. But, once again, he was already gone, the doors shutting behind him. I slid to the ground of the hallway, burying my face in my hands. _Why, why, why, why, why?_

* * *

Sighing softly, I plopped down on the ground, putting my bags down next to me. Leaning against the side of the fountain, I closed my eyes as the street musicians nearby played a familiar tune. It had been four months since I had last seen the SOAP gang, and we had agreed to meet here, some random fountain in Hollywood, before college officially started.

Well, not exactly _we._ More like _Josh._

Humming along, I tapped along to the music, the lyrics folding into my mind and then, suddenly, I was singing along. And, even more surprisingly, I didn't care. The song reminded me of St. Clair, just like everything else in the world did.

_The world fades out,  
As we stumbled about,  
Laughing but tense,  
Wiser but dense._

_I can't believe how you took my breath away.  
Fuzzy mind, never knowing quite what to say…  
And only you can make me this way,  
The light to my day._

_Oh, how I miss you so,  
How I regret ever letting you go.  
Oh, how I remember counting the steps you took.  
Oh, every intense look._

**_(CHORUS: ) _**_I feel so stupid for letting you slip away,  
For biting back the three words I so wanted to say,  
For fighting my feelings for so long,  
Acting like we were so wrong._

The musicians wandered closer, and I opened my eyes, blushing as I saw everyone staring. The guy with the guitar gestured for me to keep singing, so I did, unsurely.

_You are the perfect guy,  
And I still love you beyond the reason why.  
I can't believe I let you go.  
Oh, but I still want you to know…_

_You may be infuriating,  
So frustrating,  
But you're too intoxicating,  
For me to continue waiting._

**_(Chorus)_**

_I remember that kiss with a smile on my face,  
A smile that no one can replace.  
Only you do this to me,  
Oh, and can't you see…_

_I love you, I love you, I love you,  
I don't wanna be without you.  
I don't wanna be without you.  
And I'm hoping you miss me, too._

Standing by now, I was dancing along to the beat, laughing and grinning. A familiar bob of golden curls, followed by a mop of brown hair, appeared at the edge of the crowd, but I stupidly ignored them.

**_(Chorus)_**

_Oh, and I can't take the quiet,  
You sell a lie but I won't buy it.  
I know you feel the same,  
Oh, and so I'm screaming your name!_

_Come, come and hold me tight,  
Whisper that we're so right,  
For each other.  
Whisper that we'll be together._

_(Be together, be together.)_

**_(Chorus x2)_**

_So wrong…  
So long…  
Oh, it was so wrong but so right…  
My daylight…_

**(So Wrong, by MOI.)**

Curtsying at the audience, I laughed, grinning, until my eyes met familiar chocolate ones and my heart stopped. It was _him_, and he was as gorgeous as ever. He seemed taller, but it was probably just my inner freak out. Mer, Rash, and Josh were around him, clapping and grinning and cheering.

He just wore that smile, that wonderful, heart-thumping smile that showed off his bottom teeth. I strode forward, subconsciously, and held his face in my palms, his wide eyes the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes and smashed my lips onto his.

It was less intense and passionate than our first one, but the sparks and melting were still there. My body felt like it was on fire as he wrapped his arms around my waist, and I slowly wound mine around his neck, tilting my head a little.

It was like in the movies, where one minute, just before they kiss, the noise fades and the room is suddenly empty, and it's just the two people. Only me and Étienne, just like I had dreamt about in Paris, and I admit, a little while I was here.

When we finally pulled away for air, I pressed my forehead against his, his warm, minty breath on my lips making them tingle. Looking into his eyes, I smiled. "I love you, Étienne," I whispered, and his eyes lit up like Mer said they did whenever I called him by his first name, "So freakin' much."

Laughing breathily, he whispered, "Say my name again." I did as told, and we kissed once more, and in between kisses and disgusted comments from our friends and Étienne flipping them off, he whispered it back. When we pulled away for the final time – we _did_ still need to breathe, sadly – Mer and Rash did a happy dance behind the guys' backs, shooting me thumbs up and mouthing, 'WE TOLD YOU SO!'

I laughed, my tone breathy due to the long kisses. "You know, I probably should've done that a little earlier in the summer," I mused, and Étienne  
laughed, nodding and pulling me even closer, if possible, our lips centimeters apart.

"Hmm, probably," he muttered sarcastically and I laughed, shooting him a grin that made him kiss me again. Not that I minded, really. I could kiss Étienne for hours.

_Mmm, I could really get used to this. _I thought, tugging Étienne closer by his _beautiful_ hair.

And so, we lived happily ever after.

(I hope.)

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**So, REVIEW WHAT YOU THINK! **

**~Anna Ride**


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